Friday, September 25, 2020

It's been awhile.

This is a recent picture of me participating in a discussion about marijuana prohibition in Indiana. I've been doing what I can to push for legalization. I believe if everyone knows the truth about cannabis it will be treated the same as alcohol. It should be. It's way less dangerous than alcohol or even just sugar. The reasons why it's illegal are not due to the danger but due to the risk of decreasing profits for big pharmaceutical companies like Eli Lilly, Purdue, Roche and also the criminal justice enterprises operating through the Indiana Judicial Center Court Alcohol Drug Programs, and other elements of the system profiteering off the "war on drugs".

Presently I'm advocating for Dr Woody Myers, Democrat for Governor of Indiana.  Anyone other than Eric Holcomb is good. If you're too conservative to consider Dr Myers, then take a look at Donald Rainwater, the Libertarian. I have to support Dr Myers for three reasons:
  1. He's a physician and I have personally spoken with him. He's very smart and the best option to guide our state through the pandemic.
  2. He's a physician and strongly supports Medical Marijuana. It's a no brainer to him as a physician who understands the problems of marijuana prohibition as a choice for so many medical issues like PTSD and chronic pain.  He also understands how it has tremendous potential to address the opiate addiction epidemic in a rational manner.
  3. He's African American and is the best option to guide us through alleviating racial inequality and the tensions it causes.
On another topic, my recovery progress from PTSD continues.  Calm has been my normal state for weeks now. I've noticed the past two nights I've slept through the entire night without disruption and without medication...other than marijuana. I'm still doing physical therapy and Yoga twice a week. I'm walking really well now. My PT goal is to be able to walk for 30 minutes without pain in my back.

I've applied to increase my VA disability based upon discovering I actually have a back injury from when I was in the Navy. All these years I just thought I had sciatica pain then to find out, I actually have a back injury that occurred. Hopefully an increase will allow me to draw down less on my savings or increase my ability to spend a bit more freely.

I've been watching lots of youtube videos about building a camper van. Currently I drive a Ford Escape. I've decided to build a platform bed and some other modifications to be able to camp. It's a blast. I can't wait to get out of town for a bit.

If you haven't already...send me a Facebook friend request. Peace.


Friday, July 3, 2020

Medical Marijuana Patient Card

With telemedicine you can obtain a medical marijuana card in the State of California. Here is a link

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Next Year

Next year this time I'll be doing something different. I'm not sure what yet. But I won't be sitting around bored. I'm currently suing to regain control of my business and it's expected to resolve before the end of the year. I'm not sure if I'll have my old business back or money. 

If I get money I'm looking at either starting a new small nonprofit business to support the cannabis community or buying a small travel trailer and wandering for awhile. Right now I'm just trying to get healthy and strong. I'm living off savings, social security, and a small VA Disability check so I'm not doing much now except waiting. My divorce should resolve very shortly now maybe within the next couple weeks. That plus I'm refinancing my condo and paying off my car. I traded in my truck for a much more practical Ford Escape. I love it so far, and I just discovered, it can tow a small camper. These things will dramatically impact my cash flow positively.

Speaking of divorce, this one has been very different than the past. I have had virtually no contact with her for almost three years. But she has made this drag and drag. Ive offered her so much more to settle than what she's now going to end up with. It's just not rational. All I want is to be completely free of her. I wish her the best but I think she is...well let's just say, not a good person. And I find her repulsive and without integrity. I think she knows how bad I've wanted divorced and assumed I'd be willing to pay a stupid price to obtain it. I originally offered a stupid price...and she was greedy and thought she could do better. That deal went out the window when I found my prenup agreement was still valid. Boom baby...100k difference. I know she's kicking herself. That offer would have left her with her home free and clear. Now I'm not sure if she'll even be able to keep the condo. I gave up and told my lawyer just let the court decide but do it as soon as possible. Finally, light at the end of the tunnel is within appears. :)

Saturday, March 21, 2020

The Devil is a Republican and Establishment Democrat

The reason we have Trump (and chaos) in my opinion is a direct consequence of years of professional career politicians selling out working class people. Establishment Democrat and Republican politicians are all for sale to the highest bidder. Neither deserve our support. Understanding this is the ONLY path I can see to justice and equality.

Trump is simply a salesman.  He get's it. He's for sale, or rather bought...imo. He's repping for Putin (CEO of Russia, Inc.) and Indiana pharmaceuticals (think about it...Pence, Mitch, Holcomb...).

This is about the Haves versus the Have Nots. Tons of smoke and mirrors based upon scientific research applied to social media triggering human sheep to respond with emotional reasoning rather than common sense and courtesy. The Haves are the elite one percent. The career politicians work for them, not you and me....period. They are establishment Democrats and Republicans.

Progressives on the left and Libertarians on the right are the good guys actually working to solve human problems instead of hoarding resources.

If you're a progressive, don't support establishment Democrats. To do so is to give the Haves what they want.

If you're a Conservative, then you're a Libertarian or you don't get it yet. Republicans are strictly representing money....period. I was a Republican before college. Since then I've been progressive. The past couple years Libertarians have opened my eyes to a lot though.

Monday, March 16, 2020

Latest News

I was broken and disabled three years ago due to PTSD and had to stop working. I'm healing well and expecting to come out of retirement soon, at least part time. I hope by some time this summer perhaps. 

Unfortunately my employee, Harry Heyer, converted all my business assets to his name illegally while I was ill and incapacitated. He broke my trust and exploited my condition. He clearly knew what he was doing because he has an MSW degree. My attorney and I are preparing a law suit. 

To all my friends, please know that Harry apparently didn't take to heart anything I taught him about compassion, integrity, or abuse.  

Everyone please be aware that my companies; Abuse Counseling and Education, Inc., Amends Program, Nonviolent Alternatives, and Character Restoration Center are temporarily not in my control. No transfer of title or ownership has ever been made. Abuse Counseling and Education is a 501c3 Public Charity. I still am legally in charge of this corporation but Harry has without mine or board approval, removed me from the bank accounts, internet accounts, and has illegally assumed control of all the company assets. He has converted all the Nonprofit assets to himself personally. I'm seeking guidance to see if he can be criminally prosecuted for all the money and assets he has stolen. This post is to give my friends who are professionally connected a heads up so rumors don't deflect from truth. I will be soon seeking to regain complete control of my company and assets and to expose Harry's dishonesty and lack of integrity.

I look forward to seeing you soon.

Sunday, January 19, 2020

Everything.....literally everything, changes.

I'm fighting to save resources. It appears I may have entered into the "fixed income" stage of life. Since Judas has converted my interests in my business to himself, I no longer have a weekly or monthly income except my social security and VA disability. So I've been working to pull together my thinking to assess the current situation and take positive steps forward. The difficulty is because I still have little stress tolerance. I'm not shooting myself in the foot and being abusive but I do freeze. It's like I go into a state of shock and just can't do much of anything. So it takes more time than I'd like to respond to situations, misunderstandings and such.

After the shock of being totally deceived by Judas I then got a flu bug. So my PTSD flared into panic mode big time. I finally had to ask my daughter to come and sit with me and touch me to help me calm down enough to medicate and get a good nights sleep.

Since then I've been able to slowly begin moving forward again. I need to get a budget and determine where to begin cutting expenses. I also pulled out all the stuff I'm wanting to sell or dispose of. I'm really moving to a much, much more minimal...though very comfortable.. way of life.

I traded my truck for a small SUV. It's a 2018 Ford Escape SE. It's not fancy but it has just about everything I want. The only thing missing is a remote start. But it is an Eco version which gets amazing mileage and it has all the safety features I wanted like radar cruise, lane departure warning, blind spot warnings, back up camera, and it has heated seats. It drives like a go cart after driving the Ram truck for a couple years. I have to adjust to the quick response of the steering.

I tried again to see if I could work out a financial settlement to get the divorce finalized. No go. She's out of the ball park. Crazy talk. I don't know what to do here. So sad because she is scared and is getting bad advice which is going to cost her big time in the end. The impact upon me of the path she's going is going to be minimally damaging to me at the most. The worst impact on me is that I want my status label changed to "divorced" instead of "separated" so I can move on. I'm afraid she's going to force a direction in which she ends up needing to move out of the condo. Oh well, God's will be done. I really don't care what she does right now. I wish someone who understood would explain the honest truth to her of her situation. Then she'd be open minded to options I can offer so we could get the divorce done in a way where she won't need to relocate.

Finally, one more thought I've been pondering this week, I read a quote, "Loneliness is the discrepancy between what you want from your relationships and what you actually have."

I believe I have never felt the feeling of a woman in which we were truly in love with each other. I have never felt a woman in love with me with whom I was in love.

Another quote, "Lonely people can't get what they want from the mere presence of other people; what they crave is core values and shared life experiences. We all need a witness to our lives and people to look after."

Here I am at 65 years old picking up the pieces and beginning to reconstruct my life with whatever I'm able to salvage together. I'm lonely because I long to feel someone fall in love with me. I don't know what that feels like. Due to how hard I've tried in my life to love and care for women, to no avail, I've concluded this is not something I have much power to create. This one's going to need to be left up to God. I need to accept life on life's terms. Attitude of Gratitude.

Tuesday, January 14, 2020


I have a special relationship with loneliness. We've been together as long as I can remember. There may be a core aspect of this that's fear. I know my whole life has been fear driven. Especially a fear to say no because the direct and natural consequence is the overwhelming monster "loneliness".

Right now I'm trying to determine why it's a monster. I have discovered I have an inordinate and extreme need to be touched. It's very core habit level. I have also discovered that simply requesting my daughter to come and sit with me and touch my shoulder for an hour or so calms me sufficiently to feel back in control of myself.

On another note, the guy that took over my practice, hereafter to be referred to as "Judas", has decided to no longer make his payments to me. He is currently paying zero. Hey wtf it was only 35 years of my life's work which he's converted to himself through dishonest deception because I trusted him. I thought he really got the integrity message but I now know he doesn't. He's totally self centered and greed driven. But he's a wolf in sheeps clothing.

So I'm assessing my options again. I've decided to trade my truck for something less expensive.

Did you know that over half the population of the world don't have enough food to eat? I assure you, anything I've got to worry about is first world problems.