Saturday, December 30, 2017

The Most Transformative Moment of My Life

The following incident occurred sometime in 1982.  I accidentally injected an overdose of meth amphetamine and cocaine.  I was feeling scared and sick and ran into the bathroom.  I was very weak and faint and thought i was going to pass out so I laid down on the floor.  Everything began to go black and I felt myself going into convulsions.  Everything was black for a moment then I saw a speck of light and felt myself floating toward the light.  Soon I was going toward the light through a tunnel of lights.  It looked something like when they show going into warp speed on Star Trek TV.

Suddenly I was completely still and engulfed by a soothing white light.  I was talking with GOD but not with my mouth but with my mind.  It was like a mental telepathy.  I didn't see GOD but felt GOD's presence.  I was asking questions about my life.  Why do I live? What is the purpose of life? And things like that.  As fast as I thought a question the answer was in my mind.  I think the best I could describe "the light" is that it is a place of absolute knowledge and understanding.  Thus a complete absence of fear.  The voice in my mind then said, "You're not ready to be here yet", I recall not wanting to leave, it was such a wonderful place of unconditional love, serenity, and peace.  But then I suddenly woke up, completely sober, feeling a tremendous sense of peace.

Afterwards, I felt wonderful and it completely changed my view of life. Everything made perfect sense.  I learned that life is simply a big school.  Our purpose for living is to learn how to love others and how to receive love.  I no longer fear death.  I no longer fear GOD.  GOD is the absolute perfect manifestation of unconditional love, knowledge, compassion, acceptance, and peace.  GOD is nothing to fear.  Fear is a lack of faith in GOD.  Overcoming, or letting go of fear is the human challenge to reach our highest level.  To transcend or rise above the distractions of this school of human experience.  GOD guides us toward accomplishing our purpose through our special, individual connection with GOD...our conscience.  When we allow fear to consume us, we deny, or fail to follow the guidance our conscience provides.  In essence, we deny our own happiness.

GOD gave me a very special gift when I visited the light.  I refer to this gift as "discernment".  When I read a book, or listen to others speak about spirituality, I can tell in an instant whether it is truth or not.

I often feel particularly sad when I hear the words of someone claiming to be a man or woman of GOD and they preach a message of fear or intolerance.  I hear these things often coming from people that call themselves fundamentalist.  Since visiting the light I have read the Bible cover to cover.  As I read I saw the stories acted out in my mind as if it were a movie playing in my head.  I know what the truth in the Bible is now.  Many preachers today twist the words of the Bible and take them out of context.  Any preacher that teaches fear of GOD does not know GOD.  I feel sad about the manner in which these wolves in lamb's clothing scare people.  According to Jesus in the Bible, the highest commandment is to love GOD your father in heaven above all others and to treat others like you would want to be treated.  How can a fundamentalist claim to be a man or woman of GOD and yet violate this highest commandment by attempting to scare others?  Or by practicing intolerance of others such as their condemnation of gays, or people that merely practice other religions.

In the years that followed my visit to the light I went through many changes.  I went to college and everything I learned was filtered through the knowledge I received while at the light, the discernment of my conscience.

Today I know that everything happens for a reason, and for the ultimate good, GOD's will.  I know that all of my life experiences were meant to be.  They were designed to bring me to where I am today.  I know what true peace, happiness, and unconditional love really are.  I've turned my life around from a life of violence and drug addiction to a life with purpose.

For many years I worked as a counselor sharing with others the things I've learned.  Teaching them how to listen to and follow their conscience.  Teaching them how to recognize the dysfunctional thinking habits and beliefs we develop to justify and minimize inappropriate, and often criminal behavior.  Showing them how these beliefs and ways of thinking enable us to manipulate others, but more importantly, to quiet and deny our own guilty conscience.  I wrote an affirmation that I repeat over and over,

"There is nothing another person can say or do that can make me say or do something my conscience knows is wrong."

I've read others with experiences like this and they call them near death experiences.