Dear Gay and Lesbian Friends,
To me, this life is simply a learning experience, a school
if you will. I strongly believe the
purpose for our existence in this learning experience is to learn how to love
and to be loved. We have a hard-wired,
built-in system to guide us in our choices and decisions. Cars and smart phones have GPS. I believe all people are born with our own PGS,
Personal Guidance System (also know as conscience). Smart people, whether they have a smart phone
or not, will pay close attention to our PGS.
If we pay close attention to our PGS it will never fail to
steer us to the right choices to get our power (power; the ability to get what
I want) through kindness, courtesy, respect, love, compassion, negotiation,
etc. I call this integrity, to integrate
my conscience with my words and actions.
Living with integrity is the best path to happiness in my
opinion, but it certainly is not always easy.
It is often extremely challenging.
On the other hand, MLK said, “The ultimate measure of a person is not
where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where the stand in
times of challenge and controversy.”
My brother-in-law Tony Caldwell has his own words of
inspiration on this topic. He says, “The
more we exercise our muscle of integrity the easier it becomes.”
Life’s biggest challenge I think is that living with
integrity is not always easy. Often
times we live with powerful feelings of fear, anticipation of pain. Because we all have a deep desire to love and
to be loved, we often have intense fear of being rejected. We think of our self as inadequate, unworthy,
flawed, or even unlovable, as not good enough to be accepted and loved. We buy into cultural stereotypes and judge
ourselves unfairly based upon unrealistic expectations of what we think we
“should be”.
It hurts me to think of the fear and pain my gay and lesbian
friends must experience to live in this society with so much emotional,
psychological, and spiritual immaturity generating and perpetuating so much
hatred, alienation and rejection. I’ve
been thinking about this for a while. I
think I probably have more gay and lesbian friends than I have straight
friends. Some have come out and some haven’t. I can assure
anyone and everyone who reads this, without exception, all of my gay and
lesbian friends are the most loving, compassion, kind, and caring people you
will ever meet. If you have problems
with them, or reject them, it is your ignorance and fear that prevents you from
loving and being loved, not theirs. It
hurts me deeply to see someone’s actions or hear someone’s words that I know
will hurt or scare my friends. I disgust
myself when I realize I’ve participated in this cruelty with insensitive jokes
or comments.
I have infinite respect for my friends who have been able to
directly face, and rise above, incredible fear of rejection to come out of the
closet and accept yourself as you are.
You are such brave examples of integrity and self-empowerment. I feel
such deep affection and appreciation for having you in my life. You inspire me to challenge and rise above my
own struggles to fulfill my purpose of learning to love and to be loved. I have
learned so much from you and I am grateful to you.
There are two reasons I’m writing this. One is because I want to make it public and
known to my gay and lesbian friends I love and care about so much who are have not come out, if you ever decide to, I will still be there with
you. I will accept and honor you for who
you are. I will not reject you.
The second reason I’m writing this is because I want others
to do the same. I think another quote
from MLK sums it up the best, “In the end, we will remember not the words of
our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
I guess I'm just not a silent kinda guy.
Sincerely,
Terry Moore
